Psalm 23:4 - Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Warning – I don’t want this message to be a downer – so work with me!
Mourning is part of life, just as death is. I’m struck today by the tragic story of actress Natasha Richardson. She was learning to ski on the bunny slope with her family in Canada. She fell, got up and was laughing about it and called it a day. About an hour later, she complained of a headache and now she’s braindead. No warning. No signs. Just like that. There are many others I’m sure that you know personally that are nearing the end of physical life here. I can think of two right now: Scott’s grandmother and a young woman, Jennifer, with 2 children and brain cancer.
We also mourn things in life: dreams, experiences, expectations and more. While I was pregnant with Ryan I remember telling Scott how bittersweet the last month of pregnancy is. It’s filled with anticipation of meeting this child and sadness because you’ve had this blessing all to yourself (I knew when he moved, kicked, punched, had the hiccups). I also knew that this would probably be the last time I’d experience it (I’m no spring chicken, you know!). Scott wisely shared, “Isn’t that the way it is with Heaven? Kind of bittersweet.” We long to be there to be in the presence of God, our Father and others who have gone on before us. But yet we don’t really want to leave this life either because we have family and friends to care for and share things with and dreams to dream and new adventures to experience.
I remember being a young, single woman living alone in my apartment. Sometimes I would get fearful of what could happen. Maybe I’d be raped and murdered (you know your imagination runs rampant with stuff like this). Then I’d snap back into reality and tell myself, “What’s the worse that could happen? I’d go to Heaven.” Although I understand that thought, it now makes me sad. Heaven is God’s answer to death and mourning. Heaven is joy, new adventure – it’s God! I now long for Heaven. Not in a way that I’m going to do something tragic to myself so I can go now, but just yearning to be in God’s presence with no distractions, total peace continuously – WOW!
The funny thing about mourning is that it proves we’re alive. When we mourn a dream, experience, job or expectations or whatever it may be, we have to own all the emotions involved in that situation and hand them over to God and say, “here they are. I don’t know what to do with them. Please take them and show me what things look like now.” We must feel them. We must go through those feelings and sort them out. Then our sweet Father delivers a new adventure. It’s an adventure that can generate new life and joy if we let God do what he wants to do.
Some things I’m mourning and the new adventures that go with them:
Date night with the love of my life, Scott = It will return shortly. It’s only gone for a short season.
More time with my little man, Ian = Intentionally dedicating time and planning activities with Ian
More time with my little man, Ryan = intentionally dedicating time and planning activities with Ryan
Being a stay-at-home mom = I get to live vicariously through Scott who will be a stay-at-home dad for a while.
The luxury of being a 2-income household = tightening our belt and trusting God a whole lot more!
Maternity leave = Returning to work and learning a new balancing act
Sleeping through the night = it’s only for a season (hopefully shorter than longer!)
The verse says, “He makes me lie down in green pastures.” If He makes me do it, it sounds like I’m not so willing to do it sometimes. I think we only become obedient through mourning our loss and then letting ourselves receive the joy that comes with the new life he gives.
I guess you could say it’s kind of like coming to know Jesus or really any transformation. The process is hard, scary and sometimes demanding. But at the end of the day, He does make things new every morning and joy is part of it.
What are you mourning today?
How do you feel about it? What are you feeling?
How is God bringing joy through it? (and it’s ok if you don’t know yet, just be anticipating the joy because he promised it.)
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Resting through the fear
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
Well, we're adjusting to our "new normal" after baby Ryan arrived with a grand adventure on February 3, 2009! All is well here and I'm trying to get back in the groove of things in between naps, feedings and normal chaos.
Our sweet Father had a nice chat with me today. I use the term nice loosely... it was really one of his grace-filled, gentle scoldings. I love how you can be scolded yet encouraged at the same time. It's a God thing!
Anyway, as many of you know, our family has grown with the birth of Ryan about 5.5 weeks ago. My husband, Scott, was laid off in October and has yet to find any job that would be feasible to have 2 kids in day care. Since this journey began last fall, we've seen the hand of God deliver, provide, reassure and WOW us daily. We're keeping a long list of God moments from this season to show the boys and remind us of His power.
Speaking of that, it's funny how much like an Israelite I am. Scott and I were talking today about a situation that at this moment has no definitive solutions. Those types of situations (you know the ones that you can't develop a planned strategy to solve the problem) just make me anxious. So, I was operating in the flesh with this situation and then the enemy saw an opportunity to tack another one on. I started to fret about the pending medical bills, which we haven't even received yet. The Holy Spirit quickly brought Proverbs 3:5-6 and Philippians 4:6 to my mind. Immediately, our sweet Father questioned me, "Why don't you trust me with these things? Haven't I been faithful so far? Trust me!"
Today's verse choice is really all about trusting. It's fun to see how this blog is transorming from a focus on fear to trusting God. Hmmm... maybe that was the point! I remember really digging into this verse (1 Thess. 4:11) and not liking the idea that I had to lead a quiet life. I'm an enthusiastic talker and the thought of being quiet sounded boring to me. So I really struggled with this verse. Then I looked up the Greek word for quiet and it means peaceful or at rest. Praise Jesus! It made so much more sense. The more I trust Him, the more at peace I am which ultimately results people who don't know Him seeing Him through me. And I come to the understanding and freedom that I am dependent on no one but Jesus himself.
I'm reminded of the verses in Luke that describe the vine and branches. It's a great picture of surrender, rest and trust. I'm trying to live there more each day!
Be bold! Be brave! Be you!
Love & Prayers
Kim
Well, we're adjusting to our "new normal" after baby Ryan arrived with a grand adventure on February 3, 2009! All is well here and I'm trying to get back in the groove of things in between naps, feedings and normal chaos.
Our sweet Father had a nice chat with me today. I use the term nice loosely... it was really one of his grace-filled, gentle scoldings. I love how you can be scolded yet encouraged at the same time. It's a God thing!
Anyway, as many of you know, our family has grown with the birth of Ryan about 5.5 weeks ago. My husband, Scott, was laid off in October and has yet to find any job that would be feasible to have 2 kids in day care. Since this journey began last fall, we've seen the hand of God deliver, provide, reassure and WOW us daily. We're keeping a long list of God moments from this season to show the boys and remind us of His power.
Speaking of that, it's funny how much like an Israelite I am. Scott and I were talking today about a situation that at this moment has no definitive solutions. Those types of situations (you know the ones that you can't develop a planned strategy to solve the problem) just make me anxious. So, I was operating in the flesh with this situation and then the enemy saw an opportunity to tack another one on. I started to fret about the pending medical bills, which we haven't even received yet. The Holy Spirit quickly brought Proverbs 3:5-6 and Philippians 4:6 to my mind. Immediately, our sweet Father questioned me, "Why don't you trust me with these things? Haven't I been faithful so far? Trust me!"
Today's verse choice is really all about trusting. It's fun to see how this blog is transorming from a focus on fear to trusting God. Hmmm... maybe that was the point! I remember really digging into this verse (1 Thess. 4:11) and not liking the idea that I had to lead a quiet life. I'm an enthusiastic talker and the thought of being quiet sounded boring to me. So I really struggled with this verse. Then I looked up the Greek word for quiet and it means peaceful or at rest. Praise Jesus! It made so much more sense. The more I trust Him, the more at peace I am which ultimately results people who don't know Him seeing Him through me. And I come to the understanding and freedom that I am dependent on no one but Jesus himself.
I'm reminded of the verses in Luke that describe the vine and branches. It's a great picture of surrender, rest and trust. I'm trying to live there more each day!
Be bold! Be brave! Be you!
Love & Prayers
Kim
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