Mourning and Joy through the fear

Psalm 23:4 - Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Warning – I don’t want this message to be a downer – so work with me!

Mourning is part of life, just as death is. I’m struck today by the tragic story of actress Natasha Richardson. She was learning to ski on the bunny slope with her family in Canada. She fell, got up and was laughing about it and called it a day. About an hour later, she complained of a headache and now she’s braindead. No warning. No signs. Just like that. There are many others I’m sure that you know personally that are nearing the end of physical life here. I can think of two right now: Scott’s grandmother and a young woman, Jennifer, with 2 children and brain cancer.

We also mourn things in life: dreams, experiences, expectations and more. While I was pregnant with Ryan I remember telling Scott how bittersweet the last month of pregnancy is. It’s filled with anticipation of meeting this child and sadness because you’ve had this blessing all to yourself (I knew when he moved, kicked, punched, had the hiccups). I also knew that this would probably be the last time I’d experience it (I’m no spring chicken, you know!). Scott wisely shared, “Isn’t that the way it is with Heaven? Kind of bittersweet.” We long to be there to be in the presence of God, our Father and others who have gone on before us. But yet we don’t really want to leave this life either because we have family and friends to care for and share things with and dreams to dream and new adventures to experience.

I remember being a young, single woman living alone in my apartment. Sometimes I would get fearful of what could happen. Maybe I’d be raped and murdered (you know your imagination runs rampant with stuff like this). Then I’d snap back into reality and tell myself, “What’s the worse that could happen? I’d go to Heaven.” Although I understand that thought, it now makes me sad. Heaven is God’s answer to death and mourning. Heaven is joy, new adventure – it’s God! I now long for Heaven. Not in a way that I’m going to do something tragic to myself so I can go now, but just yearning to be in God’s presence with no distractions, total peace continuously – WOW!

The funny thing about mourning is that it proves we’re alive. When we mourn a dream, experience, job or expectations or whatever it may be, we have to own all the emotions involved in that situation and hand them over to God and say, “here they are. I don’t know what to do with them. Please take them and show me what things look like now.” We must feel them. We must go through those feelings and sort them out. Then our sweet Father delivers a new adventure. It’s an adventure that can generate new life and joy if we let God do what he wants to do.

Some things I’m mourning and the new adventures that go with them:
Date night with the love of my life, Scott = It will return shortly. It’s only gone for a short season.
More time with my little man, Ian = Intentionally dedicating time and planning activities with Ian
More time with my little man, Ryan = intentionally dedicating time and planning activities with Ryan
Being a stay-at-home mom = I get to live vicariously through Scott who will be a stay-at-home dad for a while.
The luxury of being a 2-income household = tightening our belt and trusting God a whole lot more!
Maternity leave = Returning to work and learning a new balancing act
Sleeping through the night = it’s only for a season (hopefully shorter than longer!)

The verse says, “He makes me lie down in green pastures.” If He makes me do it, it sounds like I’m not so willing to do it sometimes. I think we only become obedient through mourning our loss and then letting ourselves receive the joy that comes with the new life he gives.

I guess you could say it’s kind of like coming to know Jesus or really any transformation. The process is hard, scary and sometimes demanding. But at the end of the day, He does make things new every morning and joy is part of it.

What are you mourning today?
How do you feel about it? What are you feeling?
How is God bringing joy through it? (and it’s ok if you don’t know yet, just be anticipating the joy because he promised it.)