A Season of Healing

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on our own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all." Prov. 3:5-7 Message Version

In Ecclesiastes 3:3, it says there is a time for healing.  I'm on Day 16 of this Healing Journey for a wound that has burdened my heart for at least 3.5 years.  I'm ready for the scar to be there instead of a scab.  While I'm thankful for the journey, it's hard, uncomfortable, humbling, yet peaceful and refreshing. 

This season of at least 30 days, I'm focusing on God and what He wants to show me.  I learned this from a Beth Moore study - every message, every devotion, every song, everything shared, heard, etc. may point to healing of the particular wound you want delivery from. 

Before I share what God has shown me over the last 2+weeks, I'm awakened to a new way of life.  Although I may be focused on this one wound right now, I need healing every day because I need Jesus every day.  So while now during this specific season, I'm expectant of what God is going to show me, how will he show up today, etc.   Why don't I ask those questions every day?  Why don't I expect him to show up every day?  And how do I live that way while putting puzzles together with my boys or doing the dishes or commuting to the office?  I love the paraphrase of Proverbs 3:5-7.  I've discovered that I think I'm being "super spiritual" by trying to figure out what God is up to in my life instead of enjoying Him being there, listening, dancing with Him and trusting Him.  That last part is the hardest - the trusting Him.  The great thing is that we have all of eternity to trust Him more! 

What I've learned in my healing journey:
Day 1 - Had great worship with Travis Cottrell's "Jesus Saves", great fellowship with a friend and continue to be challenged by the book "Sacred Marriage".  This week's chapter was on forgiveness.
Day 2 - "Family Life Today" radio program featured a couple who survived and thrived in spite of infidelity  - learned a lot about marriage and communication in the conversation;  my work situation - God is taking care of it.
Day 3 - What does healing look like?  For me now with this wound:  having the ability and courage to ask for what I want/need continuously regardless of the reaction/response each time.  Also, read Ian the Berenstein Bears book about telling the truth.  It said, "Trust can't be put back together."  Guess it has to be re-built.
Day 4 - Jesus loves me and nothing can separate us.  He is mine and I am His.  He mourns with me.  He turns mourning into praise.  He set me free!
Day 5 - God loves to hear the sound of my voice in persistent prayer.  Submit to God's sovereignty. 
Day 6 - Psalm 107
Day 7 - Psalm 46 - Be still = surrender.  Expectations - Jesus knew his 12 disciples wouldn't come through for him, but he loved them purposefully and passionately anyway.  Look beyond my expectations.  John 15:5 - It's all about Jesus!
Day 8 - WOW!  Great message on Focus on the Family about unforgiveness and how it manifests itself in our lives/behavior.  Distance = fear of being hurt again; rationalized as "protecting yourself" but in reality it leads to isolation and no intimacy (which was one of the things I'd been praying for - little did I know I was int he way!).  God also revealed my fear - Trust Him through it!  (the amazing thing - in my hand-written journal, the bottom of this page states the verse Psalm 37:4)!  I did ask for forgiveness for using distance to protect myself, shared my 30-day journey of healing and got a simple earthly response.  I heard Jesus say before I received the simple earthly response, "Give me your expectations."  It was easier to take, still hurts, but looking to Him for strength!
Day 9 - It was a crazy day!
Day 10 - He is the vine and I am the branch.  Be servant-hearted in marriage.
Day 11 - From "Sacred Marriage" - My servant-heartedness and selflessness (and cheerful attitude) have more to do with my relationship with Christ than my relationship with my husband.  Also, remembered God has given me a new heart and that is how He sees me.  The Christian walk isn't for wimps!
Day 12 - Remember that God's love for me is unconditional.  The love I have for my husband should be unconditional - my expectations, needs and wants should not determine how much I love him.
Day 13 - Chuck Swindoll's message answered the "How do I do this?"  Answer is Romans 12.  Remember that pride and fear get in the way.  Remember your roots.
Day 14 - Dancing!  I was dancing with Ryan.  he was standing on the changing table after bath time.  I then picked him up and tried to dance with him while holding him.  He wanted nothing to do with it (he wanted to go see daddy, play with this, read this book, etc.).  Then it hit me - a picture of dancing with Jesus:  If we let Him lead, it works and everyone enjoys it.  But the minute I start to lead, the more distracted I get the more I don't want to dance.  Hmmm!  Also saw today how awesome it is to have God invite you into where He is already working and you have no idea!
Day 15 - The message for today appears to be humility; putting others before yourself.  Also a lot about hope. "Life is falling down and getting back up all the way to Heaven." - from David Jeremiah message. 
Day 16 - Have to say it's the focus thing and living it out every day, every moment.

Be blessed!! 
Love & Prayers,
Kim
Romans 15:13